If you plan to bring your car to France I think you need a little primer. The problem for Scandinavians is that they have to pass Germany and that calls for some warning as you can read in my yesterday’s blog.

Unlike the German the French highways cost money but are worth it as they are excellent and the traffic is, also unlike those in Germany, very civilised, except for those Germans who have brought their behaviour from home and try to push you off the road by driving into the back of your car if you don’t disappear fast enough. To do such things in a country, like France, where people have such a pride and value their dignity so high is not earning any popularity points.

There are however alternative routes that are also very good – often with highway standard. At the same time as I say that the traffic on the highways are civilized the traffic on the other roads are more hectic. Here are a few principles about French traffic you must understand.

• The smaller the road the faster they drive.
• A French driver must pass you despite your speed or road condition.
• Those coming from your right hand side always have right of way even if they come from their own yard and you drive on a major road. They do not even look to the left.
• Meeting someone on those very small roads is like a chicken race – the chicken moves to the side and reduces his speed; that means YOU. When the road is too narrow I always choose to be the chicken and stop because not even in France it could be your fault if you stand still. As French people don’t mind a few dents they will certainly not avoid them.
• The most furious traffic is always around noon as the major religion in France is spelled LUNCH. Avoid that time for your lazy tour to look at the scenery. Be French – sit down and eat a three course lunch with wine in at least 2 ½ hour.

 If French drivers drive on the country roads as if they were on their way to the hospital with their wives giving birth, they are equally relaxed as soon as they enter a village or small town. To double park in a one-lane, one-way street is perfectly all right. The guy might have something to do in there – maybe he needs a quick cup of coffee or a Pastis or he met a fiend he has to talk to. Nobody would honk their horns or behave as they would in for example Sweden – meaning not very patient. I admit that my experience is from the south of France and it might be very different in Paris. Anyway it is amazing how they seem to have all the time in the world in such occasions and ten minutes later on the country road behave like they had a death wish when they pass you in hidden bends, just before the top of hills or when they meet a huge truck.

Tomorrow I will tell you about something even more interesting that takes much longer to learn for visitor to France. That is parking in the enormously creative and egocentric way the French do. When there is absolutely no parking for me, at least five Frenchmen can find a place for their cars.